okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
