you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
