i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
