You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
