A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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