doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Come on in and take your pants off
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