There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
