i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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