i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
so much tequila, so little girl.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
