Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
