my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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