Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
this hospital has no fireball
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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