I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
