Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
