so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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