She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
