she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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