All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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