I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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