Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
