She's JV to your varsity
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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