Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
