Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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