I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
