Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
