So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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