Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
