It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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