the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
