everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
