gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he puts the penis in happiness.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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