Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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