im drinking this country out of the recession.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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