I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
