Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
