hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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