yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
