Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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