Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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