Whats the glycemic index on semen?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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