Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
tell me about the eggs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
