Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
