Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
