he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
