Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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