I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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