I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
