Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
