I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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