is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
only you would photoshop your dick
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
