sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
