if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
